too tired..... 

 I'm stronger !!

Just need u now.....and hope everything will be ok

* scalpel menari2 di mata... hahahaha*

dear Mama....

Kemaren aku jadi sopir ke Straubing dong Ma....dah lama ga nyupir bawaannya pengen ngegas mulu hahahahaha....sempet sampai 160 hehehehehe (di jalan sepi kok :P)...Straubing itu deket perbatasan Austria...kayak deja vu ma :) ...inget kita ke Wina dulu ....jadi kangen banget sama Mama *pengenpeluk*

 dah dulu yah Mama sayang...waktu istirahatku dah habis ....muaach









*si Rara gi melow abis*

Happy Unity day Germany !! ...malam ini indah coz kembang api ga berenti2 di langit malam...tadi sempet mandangin lewat jendela mbil ngupi pas istirahat...tapi ntah kenapa melow justru menyerang hehehehehe

Tadi di mobil pas balik pak sopir nyetel lagu yang lyricnya lumayan mencuri perhatian....nyampe kamar langsung nanya mbah gugel...ternyata ntu lagu judulnya The Winner Takes it All ...lyricnya gini : 

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play 

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules 

The gods may throw the dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

 Awalnya coz efek melow denger nih lagu but I found meaningful lyric...For me

The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain 

mmmm, So which one should I choose?... to be the winner or the loser?... of course I choose to be the winner... but, the winner has to loose many times before she turns out to be the winner... It needs a never ending "trial" to finally become the winner...I’m currently in the middle of process...No, I don’t want to give up!!!... The next few months will be hard for me...Doain lancar yeee

To be honest, I’ve never expected this before... But yeah this is life... Life will never be easy :)...kalo kata temen gue Life is never Flat, ya iyalah emangnya idup TV :p

*si Rara percaya (QS Al-Baqarah:286)*

Hidup gue mungkin sedang kacau , tapi gue lagi berusaha memperbaikinya.  Gue ga nyalahin siapa2, kekacauan ini coz gue sendiri.  Gue hanya perlu berhenti sebentar...

Syukuri aja apa yang masih ada ... kalo ga gini ga akan pernah ngerasain "nahan keinginan" dan sadar siapa yang bener2 tulus ma gue :)


You seem to find the dark when everything is bright  
You look for all that's wrong instead of all that's right  
Does it feel good to you to rain on my parade?  
You never say a word unless it's to complain  
It's driving me insane
 
If I were you, holding the world right in my hands 
The first thing I'd do is thank the stars for all that I have 
If I were you
 
Look what surrounds you now, more than you ever dreamed  
Have you forgotten just how hard it used to be?  
So what's it going to take for you to realize 
It all could go away in one blink of an eye?  
It happens all the time
 
If I were you, holding the world right in my hands  
The first thing I'd do is thank the stars above  
Tell the ones I love that I do 
Yeah, if I were you, whoa, yeah, if I were you 
If I were you, whoa, if I were you
 
So what's it going to take for you to realize 
It all could go away in one blink of an eye? 
It happens all the time
 
If I were you, holding the world right in my hands  
The first thing I'd do is thank the stars above for the ones I love 
Take a breath and enjoy the view  
Live the life that I've wanted to 
If I were you 
If I were you  
If I were you!


yeaaah Hoobastank-If I were u ....Jangan ngeluh Ra!...bersyukurlah sebelum semuanya hilang :D








*buat yang nitipin cek, maaf gue kembaliin...terharu makasih banget !!...Insya Allah gue bisa nyelesein masalah ini :)*

* I'll always love the false image I had of u ...*

Ngeri - ngeri sedap :p

Kejahatan itu terjadi karena ada niat + kesempatan...waspadalah waspadalah !!...hahahahaha jadi inget bang napi gue....

Nah coz gue ngasih kesempatan mintas jalan ke taman (ceritanya bis belanja mo olahraga dikit mbil JJS) semalemlah makanya gue  kena todong sodara2 :( *selamat Ra!* .....hehehehehehe ... sempet shock soale baru kali ini kena kasus beginian dimarih...ngeri-ngeri sedaplah kalo diinget kejadiannya...mana gue sempet ga rela pula waktu ntu si kang todong ngambil tas (ya iyalah ga rela...hihihihihi) alhasil menghasilkan sejait dua jait di tangan akibat gaya bang pitung yang asal2an....wuahahahahahaha.....apes...apes...apes

Kerugian ? beuuuuh jangan ditanya....duit 1 M,sertipikat tanah 1 hektar,kulkas 2 pintu,BMW terbaru *ngarang* ......wekekekekekekeke.....Alhamdulillah cuma tas sandang doang....kalo ransel juga diambil bisa urusan ma orang2 dokumen gue dan kudu belanja lagi :D....sedihnya di dalam tas sandang itu gue nyimpen duit di dompet mama .... warisan tiada duanya itu :( .... dan yang lucunya si BB yang kipednya dah agak2 lumayan nyebelin malah selamet coz berada dalam kantong jaket ... 3 gadget yang masih bagus malah di dalem tas ituuuuu....huhuhuhuhuhuhu....kurang sedekah ni gue kayaknya :D

Di kantor polisinya gue sempet ditanya2 lama gitu lagi coz disangka kejahatan diskriminasi dkk (ya elah pak murni kejahatan coz kelalaian sayah ntu mah).... pas abis ditodong itu gue langsung aja ke hospi....tadinya rencana pulang dulu baru gawe...coz tangan kudu diobras jadilah ga sempet pulang....nyampe di Notaufnahme semuanya pada kompak "marahin" gue....coz gue masih ketawa2 tangan dah begitu....lah masa gue jerit2 sih....dah kejadian kan yeh ??!!....hehehehehehe....nah dari sonoh gue baru deh ke kantor polisi....sambil tidak lupa nitip ayam di kulkas pantry (eh baru ingeeet !!! )....nah kan gue lupaaaa  bawa pulangnya.....huaaa pikuuuuun !! .... hahahahaha abisan dari kantor pak polisi langsung visite ma ngerjain yg laen2 sih....pas mo pulang pagi ini malah curhat dolo ngadu bis ditodong...trus ngeloyor pulang...wekekekekekekeke....lupa itu tanda tua...berarti gue dah tua!!! huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*si Rara gi berusaha nelp ngerayu temen biar ayamnya dianterin*

 ---


Girlfriend : Who is she?

Boyfriend : Just a Friend

Girlfriend : Don't tell me she is just a Friend...Just so u know we also started by being just "Friend"


:)


---

lagi pengen nemu sesuatu yang baru ....
yang bisa ngalihin pikiran dan perasaan dari yang ngeganggu pikiran....susah tau ga sih !!!
pengen ngamuk dan ngancurin orang...
pengen bikin orang laen ngerasain yang gue rasain hehehehehe
*bertanduk*

hayah gaya doang gue...nyatanya apa?...yang ada cuma bisa diem aja...bengong (tanpa ngiler)...jalan2 ga jelas tujuan (betis terancam gede)....trus tiba2 nelangsa...nangis sendirian deh...hahahaha
segini susahnya kah Tuhan?...gue pasti bisa kan?

harus bisa !!






*si rara gi maenan gadget mbil mandangin bebek di danau*

Innalillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Roji'un

"Jika mendidik pikiran jangan lupa mendidik hati " - suatu siang @ Stanford, San Francisco

Selamat jalan Bu...
Semoga amal ibadah ibu diterima oleh Allah SWT dan mendapat MaghfirohNya...Aamiin

Dear mama sayang...

Lagi duduk di jendela sambil liatin hujan nih Ma...kalo Mama pasti lagi kangen aku (GR!!!!)...hihihihihi...muaach,love u Mama!

Suasana hati lagi sendu+nelangsa nih Ma...biasa urusan hati...hehehehe...berat yah ternyata menerima resiko dari sebuah pilihan...menerimanya berat...ngejalanin resikonya jadi berat banget :( ...tapi harus gimana lagi? masa aku harus mengulang waktu untuk memperbaiki semuanya...

Lagi mikir2 mo backpacker-an...berharap bisa ngebantu nyegel nih hati...hatinya mo disegel aja...daripada ngerasa dicintai ternyata cuma jadi beban buat orang lain...doain aku bisa ngadepinnya yah Ma...no man no cry ...hehehehe

udah dulu ah Ma,mo ngefriend ma bantal dan kasur :p...pengen jalan2 dalam hujan sebenernya apa daya asma membayangi hahahaha...bye mama sayang...semoga mama selalu mendapat tempat terbaik di sisi-Nya...titip pesan yang biasa dong Ma "mo hidup datar dong" hehehehehe....love u always Ma, muaach.






*si Rara gi jungkir balik menekan kangen dan jadi wonder woman*

Aku mengenalmu lewat jiwa,
Bukan lewat mata...
Aku menjadikanmu kekasih lewat hati...
Ku tak tahu...
Seperti apa aku dalam pandanganmu
Selayak apa aku dalam kehidupanmu
Tapi yang aku tahu...
Meski dengan keterbatasanku
Berbalut kekuranganku...
Aku menulis namamu di hatiku,
Sejak awal kita bertemu...
Dan takkan pernah terganti...
Apalagi terhapus...






Liat penggalan di atas dari avatar seorang teman..."ngena" euy ! hehehehe...gue salin yeee buat postingan :p ...makasih buat yang punya karya ini...maaf jika share ini tidak berkenan :)

here I am ..... :)



This girl's trying to find the one...but she has failed :D

fall silent.... but she doesn't cry anymore :)



-----
I reach for you like I'd reach for a star,
Worshipping you from afar,
Living with my silent love;

I'm like a flame dying out in the rain,
Only the ashes remain,
Smouldering like my silent love;

How I long to tell all the things I have planned,
Still it's wrong to tell, you would not understand,
You'll go along never dreaming I care,
Loving somebody somewhere,
Leaving me my silent love.

My Silent Love - Randy Newman
-----




Okay then...This seems to be a quick post for me..... I was down, honestly.... but now I feel much better (hope).


Smileeee girl !!!








*Si Rara gi nyari setelan senyum yang keren*

"sometimes u just need to grow up and understand that happiness is about ur own choice"

and ur choice?

"see u are happy"




..........slap me :)



















from the bottom of my heart.....I'm sorry for what I've done :)

Pelangi Cinta

"If u are not sure what u have, please call me now"........ sms

phone........."hello___"

answer.... " I love u"

#blushing#
















*thank u blog !!! hahahahahaha*

It hurts the most when the person that made u feel special yesterday makes u feel so unwanted today :)